Blog of Wonder and Excitment!

As she sits in her room, holding the gun she has in her hand, she’s searching for a reason and excuse not to do it. She holds the gun to her head and suddenly sees this hand and reaches for it. She grasps the hand tightly. It’s rough, but caring. The hand grabs her and pulls her up off the ground into a dark room. Then…a spotlight is directed on her. All she can see now is the hands coming out of the dark, into her spotlight. The hands grab her left arm, and pull up her sleeve to reveal slits in her wrist. One of the hands move over the wrist and over the cuts and they disappear. The next thing they do is reach for the gun. The hands grab it firmly and smash it to the ground. “This was not what you were meant for!” She heard the man say firmly, but she didn’t hear it through her ears, she heard it through her mind. “Close your eyes” She hears again and does as she is told. She sees herself, sitting in her room, holding the gun. She sees herself crying and foolishly believing she has no reason to live. She holds the gun to her head and just as she sees herself about to pull the trigger a man is there. This man took place she had been in just a second ago. The man had such a heartbroken look on his face the girl could barely stand to watch. Then, as if no one could ever have even noticed, she was watching herself again, pulling the trigger and falling to the ground. She sees her family running into her room, yelling and screaming. She couldn’t understand what they were saying though because everything she heard became muffled. Then, back to the dark room, spotlight still on her. The man stepped into the light. It was the same man she had seen take her place right before the shot. He asked her, “Why didn’t you listen to me? Why didn’t you follow me? Why didn’t you get to know me?” The girl stood there, speechless as to what to say. The spotlight turns off. The girl gets on the floor and crawls around to find the man again, but he is gone. She is left there all alone in the dark. Nothing to love, nothing to be loved by.

alright..well..God, he is a very complex man but the best thing that could ever happen to me. I can't understand how people can go through there lives without him. Hes ALWAYS there for me no matter what i do and he always gets me thru my problems. I just dont understand how peopel can live thru life wihtout someone whos perfect to rely on, talk to, trust, and always know he will make your life so worthwhile if you follow him. Its another story if you don't..it is so difficult tho..i know that when i give up things i should then it will be sooo much better..but its so hard to let go..but Ill never know how awesome he is..addn see him fully working in me till i let go..grr..its sooo hard!!! hmm..soo..the other day i decided i would wake up early and watch the sunrise..stupid me..i have no idea when the sun rises..soi get up at 4:30...get and at about 5:30 im wandering aroudn my hosue in the dark..not knowing what to do until it rises..so i go outside..in a skirt and tshirt adn a little blanket..sit on my parents van and watch the sky for 45 minutes until it rises..it was cold..but i got a chance to talk to God..i must admit..i didnt grasp my chance to hard...but ill do it again sometime.. hmm..i have to say..everyone must try this..go somewhere where you won't be disturbed(so hard to find in my house..i just do it when im going ot bed) and pretend like Jesus is there in human form..sitting right beside you adn just talk to him..like he's your best friend..and he'll never tell anyone..He'll be there to listen or to give advice..just listen back once in a while when you think you should..its really cool, just have faith..anyways..im about done for now..bye!

hey.havnt been here in a while..so God is cool..lol...im really busy right now...il put more later:P